1
Pick a pile
Choose a photo-style picture of the real thing. Dog, deer, coyote, hog, and more, each with a name worth laughing at.
A gag, not a mess
Stop Being a Turd
The friendliest way to send someone a picture of poop. Pick a pile, add a short joke, and mail a light card, email it, or share a link you text from your own phone.
No real poop. Ever.
We do not text recipients.
People can block their address.
How it works
Three easy steps. No muddy shoes required.
2
Write a short note
Keep it funny and keep it a joke. No threats. Sign your name, or send it as "from a friend."
3
Send it your way
We can print a light card and mail it in a regular envelope, email the picture, or hand you a link to text yourself.
Choose your poop
Twelve photo-style classics from Texas yards, pastures, and woods. Tap one, then build the card below.
Build your card
Watch the live preview update as you go. Checkout stays off in this preview.
Stop Being a Turd
Dog
The Yard Deposit
From you
Mailing to the recipient.
Simple prices
Mail is just an envelope and a light printed picture, so we keep it cheap.
Shareable link
Free
Get a card and a link. Text it yourself from your phone. We do not message the other person for you.
$1.99
We email the picture and your short note. Fast and easy to laugh at.
Most fun
Mailed card
$6.99
A printed card on light paper, slipped into a regular envelope. About a dollar or so for us to print and mail. No heavy boxes, no real waste.
FAQ
The serious answers to a very silly product.
Is this real poop?
No. Never. You are sending a picture, printed on light paper or shared as an image. There is no animal waste in the envelope, the email, or the link.
How does the mail option work?
When this goes live, a print-and-mail service will print your card and drop it in the regular mail. It is just an envelope and a light picture, which is why we can keep the price around $6.99.
Can I text someone from this site?
No. We will not send texts to people who never signed up. If you want to text the gag, we give you a shareable link and picture to forward from your own phone.
Can someone opt out?
Yes. Use the block my address page to ask us not to mail or email a person. If someone asks you to stop, stop.
Is this allowed to be mean?
This is a gag service for jokes between people who can take one. Harassment, threats, stalking, and anything illegal are not allowed. We may refuse a message that crosses the line.
Can I pay and send this today?
Not yet. This page is a preview of the idea. Checkout is off, and nothing is printed, emailed, or billed.